I’m just going to start this blog with a small rant because hearing stories from brides who have had terrible bridal gown shopping makes me so upset! I get so urked (is that even a word?!) when brides get dragged in a certain direction with wedding dresses based on assumptions others have made, usually about their body and what they want to cover up or not. Rules like bigger busted ladies shouldn’t wear strapless dresses or women with curves always want to hide them rather than flaunt them, I call Bullsh*t. Wear what you want and what you are comfortable in, it’s your day and it’s essential that you love the dress you wear and feel happy, carefree and beautiful.
Now let’s get on to the actual blog!
Wedding dress shopping is one of the exciting parts of planning a wedding; it makes it all seem real. However it is nothing like heading down to the shops to choose a new summer dress, and in most instances it is a whole new territory for a bride to be. I was excited but incredibly nervous about my day of trying on dresses, I travelled to Christchurch as Blenheim is limited with options. I had read a few blogs about what you should take and expect but in the end I found they were quite different to how it actually is. Most advice on the internet to do with wedding planning usually comes from the US, the home of Say Yes to the Dress, but here in New Zealand we tend to do things a little differently. Here is the low-down on what to expect, and some advice on how to make the experience a positive one.
Pre-book all of your appointments
It is always best to pre-book all of your appointments, not only does it make it easy to plan your shopping day but it also ensures that you have time at the stores that you want. Some stores or boutiques will only allow one bride in for a fitting at any one time so don’t leave this one to chance. If you are coming from out of town this is even more important! Your time is valuable you won’t want to make another trip to go to one store that you could have visited if only you had booked! Make sure you allow plenty of time for the dress to be made and altered to fit you, at least six months if it is getting made, eight months allows for more breathing room but if you have less time just go with the flow.
Research the dresses available before you go
There is an overwhelming amount of wedding dresses at bridal stores! Have a look at their websites and at the different styles to see what you think may work. Remember to be flexible though as some will look completely different on your body and in real life, the stylist knows the dresses so well and will have an idea for a style that may look amazing but you never thought of. I’m more of a shorts and singlet kind of girl, when t-shirt dresses came out I filled my closet with them! This made me slightly worried that I wouldn’t find one that I liked and that it would make me so picky that I would have to settle on one that was the best of the lot, but not one I loved. I found the first store I went to had a huge range which took all my fears away and I also managed to narrow down what I wanted. I walked into Paperswan Bride with one dress in mind that I loved only to find that it was double the price I was prepared to pay! That one quickly went out the window…
Allow plenty of time between appointments and to revisit your favourites
I had fittings at three different stores on the first day and two on the second with half an hour in-between for travelling and in case an appointment ran overtime. Don’t forget to schedule in food breaks because it’s exhausting! I was scheduled to fly into Christchurch at 11am with the first fitting being at 12:30, which in a perfect world was enough time for lunch. But the world of weddings never runs as you want it! My flight to Wellington was delayed which meant I missed my connecting one to Christchurch. The next one out was at 11am so I didn’t arrive until just after 12! My mum had called Wilkins Bridal to let them know and the lovely ladies there said not to worry and just come in when we get there. We were half an hour late to our 90 minute appointment and not once did they make me panic about being late. I also found an hour was plenty of time for me to try on 8 or so dresses.
One error I made was booking my flights too close together; I was flying out at 2pm the following day which left just over 24 hours in Christchurch. Definitely allow two full days if not three! I ended up changing my flight home to be later as my bridesmaid had her baby a few weeks early and I wanted to spend time with the new family. This actually saved the day as I had enough time to go back to a store and try on the number one choice, just to make sure it was as incredible as I had remembered!
The Bride Tribe
Most stores will only have room for 3-5 people so choose your entourage carefully. Ensure that they are all supportive and have your best interests at heart, while also not being mean about it. They need to remember it is your day and your choice at the end of it and they cannot let their own personal preference or style get in the way. My mum was an obvious choice for me; she knows my style and has an incredible superpower of being able to choose clothes without me there that end up fitting perfectly despite my ever changing shape. My nana also came with me; she had a plan to ensure she would get to go, even though she was always invited! She said she would have gotten up early, put on her best clothes and looked really nice so we would have had to take her! She managed to hold in the tears but was quite blunt on what she liked and didn’t which is always good. One of my bridesmaids came in-between feeds and also managed to not shed a tear in her new mum state which was quite impressive because she cries when she sees the wedding countdown on our website! They were all amazing and there were a few things that they did that made the process incredible, the main was not commenting on a dress until I had given my opinion. My mum said they did that because at the end of the day I’m the one wearing it and have to love it, not anyone else. I feel like that is so important whether you are the bride or the one supporting the bride.
If you have family or friends that live out of town, aren’t free when you need them to be, or you just don’t trust their opinion, head into the bridal stores by yourself! Find some excellent stores with great reviews, or ones that have personally recommended to you so you can trust the comments of the lovely stylists. In the end though it does come down to the gown that you love the best, and that makes you feel stunning and comfortable in so trust your gut.
Who dresses me?
It depends on the store. Out of five, I had three where I would put the dress on in the room by myself then the store assistant would zip, tie or button me into it. The other two I had the store assistant help me into it. I found it odd at first because I was standing there in my undies with my boobs out but after the second dress it didn’t bother me. The first would bundle it on the floor and I would step in, she would pull the dress up and I was in, the other store went over the head. The ladies are so amazing at putting the dress on you while barely looking, and making it as comfortable as possible. I found getting helped into the dresses was actually preferable to me, it made it quicker so I could try on more dresses and I didn’t trip on any material while trying to figure out which was the arm hole.
The underwear sitch
What the heck to you wear? Most advise nude coloured undies and a strapless bra, and this totally works, the key is to adapt in each shop or with each dress! I was planning on getting some ‘appropriate’ undies prior to the day however I have been putting client weddings before my own and didn’t get around to it! I wore nude undies the first day and navy blue the second both cheeky cut. Having coloured undies on wasn’t a huge deal to anyone, you can kind of see them in a picture my mum took, so will definitely be hitting up farmers before the big day for the ugly nude ones! The most important part in choosing which undies to wear is how comfortable you are wearing them in front of the stylist. For a bra, I wore my usual t-shirt bra but had a strapless in my handbag as a backup in case I needed it, turns out I didn’t! I am in the itty bitty club so was planning on not wearing a bra for the wedding day and just having my dress fitted correctly to hold the girls up. In the end I didn’t wear a bra for any of my fittings either. This may be because in the first store they told me to strip to just my undies so I did what I was told! You can definitely wear a bra while the dress is going on then take it off if it interferes with the style of the dress (backless or exposed lace back, you will want to see how awesome it is without straps in the way!) Or just stick to a strapless! There are so many options so make sure you are comfortable in the underwear you choose, it will be one less thing to worry about.
Quality doesn’t always mean bigger price tag
What a huge surprise! Out of the stores I went to I found two dresses that could have been ’the one’ and had a hard time choosing between them as they were so different. One was from Paperswan Bride and the other from Brides of Merivale. Before heading to my fittings I thought these two stores would have the most expensive choices and I was planning on trying on dresses for the style and fit only. Boy was I wrong! Sure there were some incredibly pricey and beautiful dresses but they had so many within my price range and of such stunning quality! This wasn’t where the surprises finished; I then went to the other stores where I found gowns with much less quality fabrics and for a lot more money. I found a dress I liked at every store and out of the five stores, the Brides of Merivale and Paperswan gowns were the cheapest by at least $400 so don’t count out any stores because from the outside they seem more expensive.
Don’t choose the smaller size!
This can create huge issues down the line and if the stylist at the store has recommended it, back away because she is defos crazy! I know the feeling of wanting to lose any weight that you’ve been holding on to, and your wedding seems like the perfect time to finally do it, but adding the pressure of having to fit into your dress is going to go one of two ways – it will work or it won’t. Talk to any dressmaker and they will have many stories of brides trying to get alterations done on their gown because life happened and they didn’t slim down enough to fit into it, or in the end they had to sell it and go and buy a new one. Life by itself can be stressful, between work, kids, bills, and then when you throw a wedding into the mix that’s a whole different kettle of fish. Save yourself the stress and anxiety by choosing a dress that you feel fab and fits you great now, that way if you plan to lose the weight but don’t quite get to your goal, the dress will only need a few touch up alterations and you know it looks amazing! It is much easier to take a dress in than try to make it a size or two bigger and altering it to make it bigger may change the whole style and shape of the dress you love. A wee side rant: your partner loves you just the way you are which is why they are marrying you! They love and adore you for the person you are so never feel like you need to lose any weight just for a wedding! If you do decide to, please get professional advice, don’t fad diet or cut calories these will only harm you in the long term, much like buying your dress in the smaller size 😉
Photos or no photos?
Some bridal stores will let you take photos; I was allowed in all but one of them and really appreciated the ones that would allow it. I found it extremely helpful to look back on and have a debrief with my family. I didn’t have a ‘oh man this is definitely the one’ moment, I had one that was the top contender that I judged the others against then all of a sudden I had two that I loved, they were so different so it was incredibly hard to compare which made the photos perfect, although most of them were candid and I pull quite ridiculous faces in them. If the store lets you take photos, do it, and from every angle! It also gives you something to gaze at every night while it is off being made or getting alterations!
Above all, remember to sit back and take in the moment, it may only happen once, or it may be your second, third or fourth time! Remember the feeling of putting on ‘the one’ and remember the laughter when you walk out in the ‘definitely NOT the one’! It is your day so make sure you are with supportive people who are there for your best interests. If you are particularly nervous about the experience, talk to some friends who have been through it, they will have some recommendations of stores with excellent customer service, as with any shopping experience the service that you get will be what rounds it all out to being perfect! It can also help to call ahead and speak to someone at the bridal store, they can answer any questions about particular sizes or styles they carry and can reassure you before you even step through the door.
The stores I found most helpful in Christchurch are listed below, all try on fees were deducted from the price of your dress if you selected one from their store and all recommend booking in advance.
Paperswan Bride – $50 try on fee for a 1 hour appointment and you are the only bride in the studio,. Gabs was incredible and slotted me in to do a second try on the next day of the dress I ended up buying!
Brides of Merivale – $30 try on fee for a 1 hour appointment and you are the only bride in the studio. My mum purchased her wedding dress from BoM 12 years ago which made it pretty special. I ALMOST went with a dress from here, the ladies were fantastic and straight away knew the style I like. The first dress I tried on was the very close runner up, I think it was my mums fav because it was quite different to the other styles.
Wilkins Bridal – $40 try on fee for a 90 minute appointment. It is a large store so there are a few brides in at once however you have your own section of the store. It had a huge range to try on however for me I wanted something less structured and more relaxed. I was very tempted with a beautiful form fitting gown until I remembered the menu we are having on our day, and wanted room for the inevitable food baby that was going to develop after dessert!
If you have any other tips for future brides going shopping for their gown, or have a fantastic recommendation of stores in your area, pop them below to help out other fellow brides to be!
Ash xx